July 2010
11 posts
Jul 29th
1 tag
Jul 27th
22 notes
3 tags
Jul 27th
4 notes
“I may hug people too hard and get lost at malls. But I’m not an idiot.”
– Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock (via inothernews) (via whitneyricketts)
Jul 22nd
9 notes
4 tags
Memory Bank
At the age of seven, I had a chance run-in with Seattle’s first female newscaster and the first permanent female evening news anchor in the country, Jean Enersen. We met at Baskin-Robbins. I had just won an ongoing battle with my mother to buy me a clown cone, a monstrosity that looks something like this:  Clown cones were consistently stale and tasted like the freezer case, yet I have...
Jul 22nd
Jul 20th
3 tags
Memory Bank
One of the bad boys in my sophomore Spanish class showed me that if you shake an unopened package of Airheads vigorously back and forth it will eventually be reduced to a nugget of viciously-flavored taffy. As an adult, I recently found out this also works with Lara Bars. Disappointingly, neither Airheads nor Lara Bars carry the lively puns of their chewy packaged peer: Laffy Taffy. ...
Jul 14th
Jul 11th
1 note
1 tag
Jul 10th
3 tags
“It’s not that I’m necessarily emotionally attached to the 1,000 back issues of...”
– Yipster, a must-read new favorite And yes, I realize that I’ve left you all out in the cold lately, much like those New Yorkers on my bedside table. Life in general and my colon specifically has thrown all sorts of complications my way this past month. I’ll be back soon. Hopefully with...
Jul 8th
1 note
3 tags
IN WHICH WE NAME OUR GAME
When I'm feeling down, Whitney sends me old chats. In the following, she is "me" and I am "Drew," which I suppose I always am. We still haven't started that blog.
Drew: Good Slacks & A Sensible Blouse. We should start a blog and call it that.
me: kill me with Angela Lansbury
Drew: You love it
me: how about Bleach & Guns Like Lady Gaga in The Videophone Music Video Dot Com
Drew: That does not describe us
Drew: Get real
Drew: More like Stretch Pants with Sauce Stains
Drew: Bang Wars and Supercuts
me: Bang Wars in Bangalore
Drew: I Wash My Bangs in the Sink
Drew: Clean in the Front, Dirty in the Back
Drew: The Only Clean Article Of Clothing On My Person is My Underpants (Maybe)
Jul 1st
1 note
June 2010
12 posts
3 tags
Jun 23rd
2 tags
A Continuum Between the Two
Me: twin brains?
Whitney: you are my parasitic twin (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasitic_twin)
Me: I "maintain dominant development at the expense of the other."
Me: wait am I the opposite? Are you the dominant twin? That's just cold.
Whitney: we take turns
Me: okay perfect. What's your schedule like?
Whitney: this week? Wide open for sucking your blood.
Jun 22nd
1 tag
ListenFree Fallin’ by Kings of Convenience Originally by...
Jun 21st
83 notes
2 tags
Jun 17th
1 note
Jun 16th
Jun 14th
Jun 14th
1 note
1 tag
Jun 10th
4 notes
3 tags
Jun 9th
6 notes
2 tags
Menus for Feelings
Oppressive Ennui in the Frozen Foods Aisle Jalapeno poppers, Smucker’s Uncrustables Abandoned Passive-Aggressive GChats Wilted lettuce. Salted luncheon meats. No Friends at the Potluck Spanakopita with stray hair. Rice pudding to finish. Secret Shame Angel food cake slathered in mayonnaise.
Jun 9th
Free Clinic Handsome
Me: Is he cute?
Mona: He's cute in the "Seattle doesn't have a lot of attractive people" kind of way.
Me: Something akin to Public Transportation Hot.
Mona: Exactly.
Jun 9th
1 note
Jun 7th
May 2010
23 posts
1 tag
Winners, All of You!
I’m so happy to announce that the lovely Amy has won the Debra Macki for Yellow Umbrella eye shadow giveaway! Exclamation point!
May 30th
1 note
May 30th
May 29th
May 28th
2 notes
2 tags
May 28th
2 notes
2 tags
May 26th
1 note
2 tags
May 24th
40 notes
May 21st
33 notes
2 tags
May 20th
2 tags
May 19th
12 notes
2 tags
May 18th
1 note
Contrasting Comforts
Just had my nails done by a woman who brutally beat me about the back after dipping my hands in paraffin & swaddling them in sandwich wrap. A brilliant way to start the weekend.
May 15th
3 tags
Man Food Thursday / Meltdown O'Clock
Nick: Man Food Thursday?
Me: Yes!
Nick: we have chicken wings?
Me: Yes. I bought them. They are in the freezer.
Nick: We need blue cheese dressing.
Me: I can pick up some stuff on my way home if I leave early enough. The cast of Twilight is on Oprah today.
Nick: gross.
Me: LET ME HAVE MY THINGS. IT IS ALL I HAVE LEFT.
May 13th
1 note
3 tags
Understatement of the Century, Anne M. Martin
During the series, Kristy has little interest in boys and clothes but later finds herself attracted to Bart, a boy who also happens to coach a softball team, Bart’s Bashers, in Stoneybrook. Later on, they break up due to the strong feelings Bart maintains for Kristy, which she is unable to reciprocate. - Wikipedia, The Baby-Sitters Club
May 13th
1 tag
ListenSo far, no one agrees with me that this particular...
May 12th
414 notes
May 12th
May 11th
May 10th
2 notes
May 10th
2 notes
May 8th
1 tag
May 5th
3 tags
May 5th
10 notes
4 tags
ListenWhen I was working at this awful restaurant the...
May 3rd
1 note
May 1st
1 note
April 2010
17 posts
2 tags
Apr 30th
2 tags
Apr 29th
2 tags
Hannibal Unmasked, Perhaps
My office looks out onto a wildlife trail. The woman currently walking alongside the creek seems prepped and ready for contemplative b-roll shots, maybe for an episode of 48 Hour Mystery or a documentary about black market organ harvesting. You know the look. True story: during a Valentine’s Day weekend away with Nick I found myself trapped in our romantic Portland hotel room uncontrollably...
Apr 28th