August 2005
13 posts
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Or Maybe She Thinks My Parents Need to Stop Calling Me Six Times a Day So there’s this chick named Jackie, right? Now, Jackie and I have never met personally, but we have a few things in common. One, I’m assuming, she’s a chick. Two, our cell phone numbers are quite similar. Three, we both get down to hip hop beats. Since I’ve never actually spoken to Jackie, I’m not...
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I Couldn’t Agree More Best line ever written on a bar bathroom wall: Hippies! Take a shower! Jah is DEAD!
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Self-Portrait Sunday Back to work.
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Nat Hawk Down Pretend for a moment that you are Natalie Portman. Sweet, sweet Natalie “all the boys like me” Portman. Now think about how you could make yourself look as horrific as possible. Did this image come up in your head? I sure hope so.
Notice how totally surrounded she is by her posse. Wouldn’t you want a heads-up if your hair was looking a little on the Mr. T...
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Miss Moneypenny Had Excellent Grammar Marias Button: D’s not even on MySpace Marias Button: that’s how awesome he is MrPinkEyes34: I hate scenesters MrPinkEyes34: my girlfriend is unfortunately on MySpace which I define as one of the biggest conflicts in our relationship Marias Button: I think are scenes are a bit different MrPinkEyes34: did you really just say are instead of our?...
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Putting the Ass in Passion I’m off to a running start I think I broke my ass. Really. No lie. Below is an artist’s rendering off the damage:
I incurred the horrific bruise during a quick tumble down the stairs yesterday morning. I blame the gigantic pajama pants I was sporting at the time. Other parts of me hit the steps, but I managed to catch myself with my rear. One would think...
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Wherein Chickseattle Makes Marias Button Uncomfortable “Down There” I was going to write about my fast-approaching return to Northampton for my final year at Smith, but as I logged into Blogger I changed my mind. I typed my screen name and password (both circa 1998) and realized how far I’ve spiraled into adulthood in just the past few years. Before this becomes some sentimental My...
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Dum da dum, dum… Just kidding, but close enough I have nothing witty or exciting to post unless swooning professions of love are high on your must-read list. Oh, really? Well, if you insist. The following is a brief, condensed, teeny-tiny, step-by-step, low-down on the down-low of the past few weeks: 1. D and I spend nearly every waking moment in full communication with each other. This means, if...
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Tylenol BM and Other Gross Things I Forgot to Post About It should be said that I have a passionate relationship with Tylenol PM. I love the stuff. Now before you break out the “One Day at a Time” brochures and ship me off to The Betty, let me state for the record that I strictly follow the directions on the back of the bottle. It is understood that Tylenol PM is only for drunk sleep....
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“I Hear Casablanca is Highly Overrated this Time of Year” And other phrases that can only be overheard when partying with Provincetown’s elite This summer will officially go down in history as Middle School Reunion All Day Every Day and I absolutely loved it. While I could fill this space with my usual Seattle wrap-up, I’d much rather write about the past week and beyond,...
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You Say “Na Shledanou” and I Say “Ahoj” My darling Hoffman left this morning via the Plymouth-Brockton bus. In honor of her departure, here’s a video. Big post coming soon. I haven’t forgotten. Really.
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Wherein My Powers Penetrate Even the Strongest of REM Cycles BB’s message to me tonight: I had a dream about you the other day. Visited you in Cape Cod. We ate salmon (but we did not wear the color). You laughed a lot and snorted milk out your nostrils.
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Pillow Talk, John Waters and Why I Love My Life But you’ll have to wait I’m posting all the time in my head. Really. It’s just that things have happened. Big things. Good things. Absolutely fucking fantastic things. Am I being vague enough for you? Here’s a photo to tide you over: More to come. I swear. And not just in my head.