October 2005
12 posts
1 tag
Like The Grownups Do Sugar-Free Red Bull and Fun-Size Skittles no longer constitute as lunch Every step I take lately seems to be leading towards my official transition into the world of maturity. Well, minus the lack of a driver’s license and an unbearable fear of the dark. Take, for example, my new job. No, I’m not blogging about work. Who would do that? Nope. Not me. However, if I...
September 2005
19 posts
1 tag
Vimeo: Not Just for Inside Jokes For amusing petite filmmakers as well
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Blast From the Past www.FutureMe.org This morning a message arrived in my mailbox from FutureMe.org, a site wherein you are able to compose emails to yourself to be sent up to twenty-nine years after the fact. The true joy of the site is realized once you completely forget that you’ve ever stumbled upon it and one day receive a message from the great beyond. It is strange to see how...
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A Pound of Flesh Sort of Seeing as I have a tendency to enroll in art classes in which female students paint with their menstrual blood and create installations with meanings deeper than I have time to comprehend, I find myself making more and more late-night journeys to Stop & Shop. Why Stop & Shop, you ask? Recent trips have found me procuring twine, baby dolls and other accoutrements....
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Experience Yogurt Project Maybe if I did more drugs I am currently enjoying some Dannon “Fruit on the Bottom” blueberry yogurt. The back of the container is proclaiming that there is “room in every cup for your favorite mix-ins!” and is enthusiastically instructing me to “Create [my] own yogurt experience.” I’m not sure that any single time I’ve...
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Self-Portrait Sunday Who the hell said that I could be an adult? My weekend has been a picture of good times from beginning to end. Although I am taking way too many credits to actually remain a functioning human being this semester, I’ve managed to swing it so I don’t have class on Friday. I still have to work, mind you, but technically I don’t have to show up at the office...
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Flashdance, Flashback Behold the power of my artistry. I feel it perfectly illustrates what I would have spent every waking moment producing in middle school had I possessed the proper technology. If you’re lucky I’ll whip up a little something special for Self-Portrait Sunday.
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Back from the Dead I keep meaning to do a round-up of various scraps I keep jotting down and forgetting to post. Perhaps this weekend. Perhaps tonight when I’m avoiding Chaucer. Last night I dreamed that I had made friends with a large monster made out of mud and twigs. He looked like a cross between the Rock Eater from The Neverending Story and the big ogre thing in Labyrinth…but made...
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Self-Portrait Sunday Click on the photo for a Vimeo clip (c’mon, you know you want to).
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Why I Don’t Travel Very Often Part 8,001 A little while back the ladies and I were having a lengthy conversation about our private parts, as we tend to do endlessly here at Smith. Mim brought up the horrific “fact” that occasionally, in some bodies of water, there are tiny little pirhanah-like fish that manage to swim up into your pee hole. She wasn’t sure what they did...
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At Age Five Jonathan Switcher Melted My Butter Picture me half an hour ago, typing a perfectly good post all about implied blow jobs via lollipop consumption in public spaces (coming soon, I promise). I took a break from writing to foolishly check out Britney and Feder-Complete-Waste-Of-Space’s baby news. After heading on over to goldenfiddle.com I unexpectedly witnessed the dawning of the...
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Leaving on a Jet Plane At the airport the security guard told me to “just go with him.” I have to shack up with Chaucer for another three months. Then we’ll see.
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Long Weekend I am happy.
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Can’t Touch This Welcome to the Champagne Room I’ve previously commented on the bizarre and strangely sexual atmosphere that is Smith College at its finest. There’s nothing like a same-sex education to make women drop their drawers. Case in point: Convocation. Convocation is defined as, “a special gathering of a religious or academic group, usually marked by use of special...
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Donate
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I’m Donating All the Money the Porno People Haven’t Stolen From Me Yet and you should too I haven’t posted about hurricane Katrina because I have nothing eloquent or fascinating to say. You know you should donate to relief efforts. You know it’s tragic and devastating. You know I’m not especially gifted when it comes to dealing with serious matters. If the apocalypse...
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Self-Portrait Sunday back to school
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Raspberry Test Last night I dreamed that a Jazzercise-type girl knocked on my door to inform me about all of the “activities” I haven’t been “present” for. After her speech was over, she went on to explain the following: See, last night, remember when you took that raspberry test? Well, I know it sucks, but it was actually a fake test. Those have been going around...
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Bring it, Ketosis I woke up this morning to the smell of death. I’m not sure what died, exactly, but I think it has something to do with my air conditioner. It smells like unbathed skunks had babies with dog crap. Thank goodness the lovely people over at Physical Plant are coming to take the AC away today. Actually, that’s why I’m conscious at such an ungodly hour. Well, that...