December 2006
13 posts
1 tag
Non-charitable Goals To Be Completed Before November 30, 2007: A Short List Vacation at the Madonna Inn with Hoffy and friends, preferably in the Tack Room. Drink 2.2 liters of water almost every day. Get a bikini wax from a reputable establishment. Have my name engraved on a stone in the Olympic Sculpture Park.* Kiss a boy while on a date at the arboretum.* Work with Stefan on...
November 2006
30 posts
1 tag
The Land of Milk and Honey While reading the The Letter Jay archives over at Gush Party, I stumbled across something that made me giggle secretly over my desk. I automatically highlighted the address bar and headed over to Blogger with every intention to post. Then I thought long and hard about the P word, the one that simultaneously refers to a cat and a very intimate part of a woman’s...
1 tag
Snow Day Oh Seattle, with your lack of de-icing agents. Today marked the sixth day of my long, sleepy Thanksgiving “weekend.” Usually, I commute to work every morning on a bus that is basically a glorified horse and buggy. Needless to say, it wasn’t running on such icy streets in the wee hours of the morning. I’d somehow managed to forget that snow makes all of the...
1 tag
Five Things to Be Happy About I am actually excited to return to the office tomorrow. Thanks, tedium of cable television! I lost 3.4 pounds over Thanksgiving weekend. Thanks, Weight Watchers! I slept like a baby for five straight nights. A baby that had been heavily drugged and clubbed over the head with a small bat. Thanks, exhaustion! It snowed, making me feel like even though I may not be...
1 tag
Day 26 of NaBloPoMo: I’m Reaching, Here Marias Button: you are the wind beneath my wings muskie9484: can I be the thong between your buttcheeks instead? Marias Button: well, I suppose so
1 tag
Finally Sleeping In
1 tag
Giving Thanks Before After
1 tag
But I Don’t Want to Sail to Plymouth! Due to my intense devotion to NaBloPoMo, I am blogging on Thanksgiving. Initially, I was going to live blog tonight’s two hour Grey’s Anatomy special*, which may or may not still happen. We’ll see how chock full of stuffing and wine I am at 9pm (hopefully I will be plenty chocked). I briefly considered blogging the Macy’s parade,...
1 tag
“Really old woman in front of me wearing Playboy tights. Thinking of you.” Four text messages currently on my phone: It’s gross and rainy and I am eating gumbo. I want to go back to the womb. Boner time! You’re so money and you don’t even know it. All these honeybabies love you. Saw a tiny dog shivering - looked in need of a sweater - for some reason this made...
1 tag
Missing
1 tag
From My Cold, Dead Hands Last week, the lovely Ms. Maggie Mason posted about this regrettable product once promoted by the ever-delicious Mighty Goods. From the LifeGem website: “The LifeGem is a certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one…As a memorial to their unique life; as a symbol of your personal and precious bond.” Well, ashes to ashes and...
1 tag
Just When You’re Beginning to Think You’re an Adult Tonight, after another manic cleaning spree, I came across a forgotten stack of my childhood journals. Unlike the others I’ve unearthed over the past few months, however, this particular stack is from the really angsty years. Years I spent laying on my bedroom floor writing Nirvana lyrics on my backpack with permanent markers...
1 tag
Saturday Hasn’t Come Early Enough AKA day eighteen of NaBloPoMo with a bullet The window washers completely scared the crap out of me when I was half awake on Friday afternoon.
1 tag
Special Order On a particularly quiet ride home yesterday evening, the sun began to set just as we turned on to Alki beach. The bus driver announced over the loud speaker, “I ordered this one up special for all of you.” I made sure to thank him as I left.
1 tag
It was Mid-90’s Yuppie Week at the Food Bank I’m on the 71 bus to the University District via Downtown. Somewhere in the middle, a scruffy possible hobo hops aboard and takes a seat next to a young, big headphone-wearing metro-chic man. After the bus starts moving, Scruffy Possible Hobo whips out a vanilla Haagen-Dazs ice cream bar and begins to chow down. Scruffy Possible Hobo (to Big...
1 tag
Homeward Bound
1 tag
The Day the Music Died That is not a good face. Suggestions?
1 tag
Like the Time a Guy Lost his Finger in One of the Machines and They Didn’t Exactly Propose a Recall I once dated a guy who’s father worked in a chicken processing plant in college. To this day, every single time I eat chicken that is breaded, fried or otherwise in a disguised state, I have to work quite hard to get the images he described to me out of my head. Coincidently, my mother...
1 tag
Did You Ever Know that You’re My Hero? I have a few rules I keep in mind during my daily television consumption, and one of them involves not allowing myself to watch certain portions of certain programs. Example? Beaches is currently playing on Oxygen. I realize that tuning in to Oh! was my first mistake. Normally, I would not let myself watch such a classically sappy, self-indulgent...
1 tag
It’s Good To Be Back Sometimes a familiar bar with a few old friends, a few new exciting acquaintances and one long night out can lead up to feeling just about right. And almost bring me back to this. Almost.
1 tag
Social Autopilot I am sitting at my desk staring at my notebook full of to-do lists and scheduling info. At the top of today’s page I wrote, almost without thinking, in large script: I AM FED UP And I am. I really, truly am. When did I become some sort of watered-down cryptomaniac, scribbling her utter exasperation onto any surface she can find? In the past month, I’ve switched to...
1 tag
Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now July 10, 2006. Wherein I drove to Boston with my mother to celebrate her birthday, ate a blissfully vintage and air-conditioned lunch at Durgin-Park, hopped on a plane to Seattle, subsequently moved to the West Coast, and went to bed completely happy. Swimming partially clad in Long Pond with a few fellow semi-scandalous teenagers circa Summer 1999. ...
1 tag
Beam Me Up, iCon Last night I dreamed that I was in the throws of a romantic tryst with Steve Jobs. Being high profile and all, I couldn’t tell anyone about the fabulous affair, only that I was dating quite the businessman. It should be noted that I did desperately want to disclose my secret love, but Steve had worked some of his Apple magic on me and placed a tiny chip inside of my brain to...
1 tag
Oh, Democracy! Live in Seattle? Live in Washington? If you live in Washington, why don’t you live in Seattle? Wherever you live, today is the day to live the dream! Be an active participant in your community! Who am I kidding? Just go vote. I will most likely be at The Stranger’s Vote!/Party! tonight at the Spitfire. Election Day makes NaPloBloMo easy. Thanks, Democracy! Psst,...
1 tag
NRHS: Home of the Warriors Today I woke up and put on a sweater that I haven’t worn since high school. Senior year, to be specific. It’s a classy little wool number. Navy blue with cream trim. I believe that it was purchased at the Gap during a last-minute shopping spree for college interview attire. I never wound up wearing it to the interview, however, and opted instead for a highly...
1 tag
Nothing Good Gets Away That sticky puddle you stepped in last night on your way out to somewhere fabulous? Yeah, that was me. I’d appreciate if you would scrape it off of your shoe and send me the pieces, because it’s rather difficult to live without my most tender parts. You see, after four months of Bliss, six months of Making the Best of It and another five months of Slow Demise, D...
1 tag
Prom Queen In my dream last night I had hairy, hairy legs and everyone thought I was a bombshell.
1 tag
Now There You Go, Making Me Smile Again Homeless man outside of my office this morning: girl, if you didn’t look so married, I’d ask you.
1 tag
U me `nya vsyo hara `sho Yesterday I came across this short film from Boing Boing. Quite simply, it’s a seven minute silent video of the snowy streets of Moscow filmed in the winter of 1908. It is the most soothing piece of work I’ve seen in a very long time. Having a bad day? Feeling over stressed, over worked and over tired? Follow the link. There’s nothing like century-old...
1 tag
Rabbit, Rabbit Let NaBloPoMo ‘06 begin It’s the first of November and you know what that means! It’s National Blog Posting Month. Well, it’s also National Novel Writing Month, but as a product of my generation, I have no patience for that sort of thing. Give me snippets of wit! Right now! I cannot wait! Actually, I would love to write a novel. I just don’t think that...