December 2007
12 posts
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And We’re Done! Well, kids, today is the last day of National Blog Posting Month and I am happy to say I’ve posted every single gosh darn day in November. In celebration, Mona and I are meeting up for drinks this evening. Heck, I might even blog about it. Also, I’ve created the above button for all of you NaBloPoMo survivors out there. Cheers!
November 2007
31 posts
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Twitter Post Me: You need get a cell phone. Seriously. Ian: I’m on a pay phone right now and it’s working out. Pay phones are coming back. Just you wait. Follow me on Twitter
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Time to Call My Sponsor Dear Internet, I’m currently looking at the electronics section of UrbanOutfitters.com with my finger stalled on the “add to cart” button. Beads of sweat paint my forehead. My heart beats the pitter patter of deco-punk technology. I am calculating grocery bills and credit card payments faster than ever before. I am so incredibly tempted to purchase this...
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Smells Like Teen Spirit I’m on the number 54 bus headed home. There’s a brood of twelve or thirteen year-old boys up front, gently making fun of each other and looking awkward. A few of them whip out cell phones to call their mothers. Most of them have braces. All of them are wearing track shorts. A hungover-looking rockabilly woman in her late thirties gets on at 35th and Barton and...
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Ho, Ho, Ho I just made a shopping list that includes “sticky hooks” and “tools.” Guess what we’re gearing up for? Did you guess Sorority Hos and Fraternity Bros swingers party? You’re wrong! We’re totally decorating for the birth of the baby Jesus. Now if I could just decide on the right tree.
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Twitter Post Dear Lucerne Pomegranate Acai Yogurt, You taste a bit like cleaning fluid. Love, Drew Follow me on Twitter
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Bottles
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Birds Gone By Turkey Surprise from dzandone on Vimeo.
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Twitter Post Heading out in search of a turkey-shaped Jell-O mold. This is going to be an interesting night. Follow me on Twitter
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And If I Don’t See You, Happy Thursday! Last night as Ian and I passed our elderly building manager on the sidewalk I made sure to wish her happy holidays. She is quite possibly one of the sweetest women alive, a fact that renders me completely paranoid that she may find out that I’ve gotten drunk and cursed in my lifetime. I found it odd that she simply said, “thank you”...
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This Morning I Need a Fresh Hot Cup of Diesel Making coffee at my grandfather’s house.
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Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon After reading a few articles on the growing popularity of first-period kits this morning, I tried to remember how the arrival of my first period went down. For some reason, I’m not carting around too many memories of how my parents dealt with the blessed event, aside from handing me a Chlorine-Free Seventh Generation maxi pad and patting me on the back....
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Twitter Post The complete soccer team of eight year old boys on this ferry is wearing on my non-existant hangover. Follow me on Twitter
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Because Polar Fleece is the New Flannel As I approached the first day of sixth grade, I realized that this was, indeed, big stuff. I wanted to look my best. This was the summer that I began spending hours in my room with the radio playing alt rock at a reasonable volume dictated by my parents. I smuggled Seventeen into the house and began collaging my walls with pages of ads. My allowance was...
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Clips from the Train Train to Portland from dzandone on Vimeo.
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Urban Family Cookbook: Fake Mac Bake Let it be known that at exactly 11:51 this evening I bolted upright in bed realizing that I had not yet posted today. Oh, NaBloPoMo, you’re giving me stress dreams. Here’s a recipe for the laziest casserole on the planet, complete with a glamor shot of my sweet self. Semi-Homemade Mac and Cheese Bake to be Constructed in a Fit of Wild Abandon 1....
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Happy National Pickle Day Here’s someone who I’m sure won’t be celebrating: I have fond memories of watching Maury while eating pickles. True story.
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Two Simple, Lovely Things Slide Card Case by Violet, $10 The most exciting thing about having business cards is being able to pass them out. Hard to do when they’re making friends with the crumbs at the bottom of your bag. Bury the Hatchet Earrings by Ach Ach Liebling, $34 An old adage or a mode of getting rid of the evidence? You’ll have plenty of time to ...
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Four Text Messages Currently in My Phone: Part Two It would be entertaining to see Brett Michaels try to carve a pumpkin. Think slow-mo flashback montage. Two words: Midget. Wrestling. There is a homeless couple having sex at the bus stop. Help. Next on Fox News…Facebook suicide!!!Message I wish was in my phone: Jesus on Halloween: Drink this wine, it is my blood. Eat this bread, it is my...
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A Pill Held Firmly Between the Knees Last month a very important member of the family turned five years old. My diaphragm. While it may be irritating at times and slightly rubbery, it’s seen me through a lot. Those close enough to me to know the ins and outs of my contraceptive methods tend to tease upon initially learning of the existence of the diaphragm. What decade am I living in? Am I...
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Easy Bake This morning, while shuffling around in my pajamas and shaking the last bits of sleep off of my disoriented self, I heard a rustling outside. Like any confused and half-naked soul, I decided to investigate. After an awkward exchange with the postal worker attempting to slip a package between the screen and the all-business side of the door, I collected my treasure and brought it inside...
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And May All Your Christmases Be Waspy and White Below is the final design for our holiday card. Initially, I was worried that it came off as a bit too prissy, but I’ve decided to embrace my previously unknown flare for the New Victorian. I’ll be expecting my scrapbooking kit and tennis bracelet shortly. Also, if anyone would like a copy of this design for themselves, I’d be...
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Pre-Happy Hour Chat Did you see Cosmo vs. Glamour readers’ anal sex habits on Jezebel today? Yes! I wonder how many of that sampling have Crohns disease? Those afflicted with digestive diseases obviously “read Glamour.” How is your blood pressure? Mine is generally really low and I’m not sure if it’s a Crohns thing. Mine is always dangerously low. I like having low blood...
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(46) At Thanksgiving, to Her Twin Sister, By Accident (21) You purchased matching fursuits so that you could renew your vows as foxes. (22) You gave her back her daughter. (23) You let her shoot the first deer of the season. (24) You ignored her Adam’s apple. (25) You cut the words into the back of a bus seat with a pocketknife. (26)Scratched them into her cellphone screen. (27) Spelled them out...
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Ding Dong Merrily I Must Be High to Procrastinate this Much It has been widely documented that I am in love with MOO and all of the wonderful printing they do. I’ve ordered three separate business cards from them over the past year and one large batch of note cards. Well, hold on to your hats because MOO now offers personalized postcards. Just the other day I was wondering what the heck we...
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Kid Nation: An Argument For Parenting Now that Madmen is over for the season, I find myself lost in television land. How can I possibly go on without endless hours of delicious vintage costumes, smoky-voiced gentlemen and the roar of the typing pool? For now, I’ve been relying on Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane, Tori and Dean (which ended last Sunday, alas) and Kid Nation to salve my wounds....
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NaBloPoMo Day 4: Poultry Memories Big Chicken from dzandone on Vimeo. I was in Atlanta awhile back doing some research. Most of the people I interviewed used The Big Chicken as a landmark. I had no idea what they were talking about until I saw it in the flesh. Apparently it almost got torn down a few years ago because of all the pigeons that were roosting in its head. Lucky for me, it was...
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Because the Only Place You Can Find Shoes for Eighty-Five Cents is the Bowling Alley This just in: the Budget Holiday Gift Guide is up over at Mighty Goods. As a fan of Maggie and her wonderful blog, I must admit that Mighty Goods has not once steered me wrong (I’m looking at you, Valentine’s Day). If you’re interested in what I’ve been shopping for this holiday season,...
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NaBloPoMo Day 2: Urban Farming Since I recently moved offices, I have been lacking in decorative flair for the past few weeks. In an effort to spice up my daily non-web procrastination, I’ve hauled in a few pieces of key decor. Below is a view of the left hand portion of my desk area. You’ll notice a birdcage and petite menagerie. The items have been coordinated to match my file...
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T&A for 30 Days: National Blog Posting Month, Day 1 Sweet fancy Moses! It’s NaBloPoMo again! Last year I successfully posted every single gosh darn day in November. As the badge to your left states, I’ll be doing the same thing this time around. I initially had big plans to take on some sort of larger, meaningful project, but for now it’s nothing but a few laughs and smarmy...
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Twitter Post Just received my Costco membership cards from work. Does this mean that we won’t be banished to the kid’s table on Thanksgiving? Grown. Up. Follow me on Twitter