April 2008
28 posts
dzandone: Got my period during the noon showing of... →
dzandone: I want to give Portland a big wet kiss.... →
dzandone: Guy on the bus is wearing a Nemo (the... →
dzandone: It will always be difficult for me not... →
OBGYN't You Be My Friend?
I have a confession to make: I want to be friends with my new gynecologist. While this fact alone is not particularly significant, I must say I am saddened to realize that our BFFdom can never be. Our friendship will never be free to roam outside the confines of the cold metal table in the small white room in the large gray building on top of the gigantic rolling hill in our fair city of Seattle. ...
Beats a Pinata
Mona: He was a baby once! A fat little baby! He's turning 2 next month
Me: Aww! Kegger? Toddler Pimps and Pre-K Hoes?
Mona: 2 Girls 1 Sippy Cup
Hello, Dalai
On Saturday afternoon my mother and I had the privilege of seeing the Dalai Lama at Qwest field. Well, us and 64,998 fellow Seattleites got to bask in the presence his holiness on what turned out to be the very first glorious bought of weather in 2008. Perhaps global warming was responsible for the 83 degrees worth of sunburn I developed that afternoon, but I’d like to think that my favorite...
dzandone: I thought the man at the bus stop was... →
Off to See His Holiness
Mona: Did you get tickets to the Dalai Lama?
Me: Nope. Did you?
Mona: Yes, but I'm not going. Do you want them?
Me: Yes!
Mona: I think scalping them would be bad karma.
Mona: When I told Mike about the Dalai Lama tickets he started singing "hello Dalai, well hello Dalai"
Praise Him
Frederick: (Autoreply) still poppin' my collar earnin' more dollars than Allah
Me: But does Allah make many dollas?
Frederick: all that matters is that the number of dollars I earn is strictly greater than his (His)
Me: So humble
dzandone: My right armpit has been itching all... →
Only Child
Just realized that perhaps I should hang out alone more often simply because years from now I will produce offspring and will rarely find myself solo for the succeeding eighteen years.
If This Conversation Were a Book it Would have a...
Whitney: it's like that fucking Baz Luhrmann song. "You're never as fat as you think you are"
Me: I have certain events that I remember not because of the importance of the event but because my bangs looked really, really good that particular evening
Whitney: I'll have days I remember more because I liked my outfit
Me: on days I find myself in a really good outfit I feel obligated to do something after work, like drink in public. Today is not one of those days
Shark Week at the Gyno's Office
Just figured out that your twenties are a time when, while you may list your significant other as one of your emergency contacts, you definitely write “in case of emergency please call parents first” in the margin.