August 2009
22 posts
July 2009
33 posts
Breakfast Buffet in Heaven, Menu Item 1: vats of Stumptown Hair-Raiser blend. Iced, what with the climate change upon my arrival & all.
Hey! 'More to Love' contestants, giving away your...
There is one appropriate receptacle for those feelings, ladies, and her name is Your Mom.
youdonthavethis
The Ed Hardy embassador on the bus temporarily put out his cigar prior to boarding. What a delicious way to occupy your 103 degree day, sir.
In Which I Write About My Vagina
I have a sordid history with birth control. As if overruled by Nature’s Grand Scheme, my attempts to stick to a reliable anti-baby making plan have been sabotaged many a time. When it comes to familial planning technologies, my lady parts appear to be luddites.
You see, The Pill left me halfway between Kristin Wigg’s Lawrence Welk sketch and a pre-surgery Star Jones. And, as much as I love all...
You and I - Ingrid Michaelson
let’s get rich...
A Cornucopia of Warm Fallopia
Whitney: Blech. Maybe.
Me: That means no.
Whitney: That means potentially! Maybe doesn't ALWAYS mean no, Stannard.
Me: IT MEANS NO 99.99999999% of the time.
Me: Your "maybe" is like IUD pregnancy prevention.
There’s still a small part of me that hopes the end of this Michael Jackson funeral montage will end in one big Rickroll.
Whenever I see a round greasy smudge on the window next to me on the bus, I try to imagine the sleepy head that left it.
Modest Mouse — Summer
Just the smell of the...
