Target’s miniature wine cubes don’t come with straws, either. As if they’d prefer you to pour them into glasses instead of sippy cupping, nay shotgunning, that sweet nectar directly from its cardboard home.

That said, on my second date with Nick, he presented me with glass straws that he had handcrafted in his lab. For someone who may not boast skills with the ladies, this lone act may be responsible for the entirety of our relationship.

Later on in our courtship we tucked into a few Target wine cubes after an evening spent hunting for moderately priced housewares.

I keep telling Nick he should go into business for himself, perhaps open a little Etsy shop bringing glass straws to the masses, but so far he prefers to keep a low profile.

One day. One day.

rachaelmaddux: Your Dekalb Farmer’s Market sells these great four-packs of one-cup portions of chicken broth, which are incredibly handy, but which I am so weirdly tempted to drink like straight-up juice boxes. Surely that wouldn’t be any grosser than Ecto Coolers, right?

youdonthavethis: I think those shameful thoughts, too.

If they came with straws, I’d know Pacific Foods was for real fucking with us. But since they don’t, I’m just suspicious every time I enter the Broth Area.