Safeway.com wants me to purchase two twelve packs of Pepsi products and receive two twelve packs for free. Then, to sweeten the deal, they’ll toss in an eight pack of Gatorade at no charge.

Does Safeway.com know that I live in a modest, one bedroom apartment with no pantry to speak of? With my boyfriend? Perhaps we aught to take Safeway up on the deal and throw a beverage party. We could supply the mixers and our guests could bring the booze.

What mixes well with Gatorade? Well, besides high fructose corn syrup.