These are a few of my Favorite Things: Thoughts on Cheese

In honor of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, I’ve compiled a list of my five favorite packaged foods (all of which aid in the feeding of my third ass cheek). See below.

1) Cheez-It snack crackers. I’m a fan of the original flavor, however the girls and I recently discovered the sour cream and onion version. Sweet Jesus. There’s a recipe online (thank you, wee Keebler Elves) for Cheez-It fried chicken. If anyone tries out this recipe, I will give them a handsome prize. C’mon, you know you love the cheesy goodness of fried meat and crackers.

2) Kraft Easy Mac. I don’t eat this very much, but I feel that as a college student of the new millennium, it is a food that is vital to the existence of many of my peers. Are we seeing a cheese-filled trend, here?

3) Nonpariels. These are a little fancy. I’m not sure if they truly belong on this list, but I love them dearly. Nonpariels are defined as “traditional bite size pieces of milk chocolate with a small sugared coating”. They look like little chocolate disks with tiny white sprinkles on them. In French, “nonpariel” means “having no equal”.

4) Kettle corn. If you’ve tasted it, you understand. It’s difficult to find decent microwave kettle corn. One must be committed to the cause.

5) Fat-Free Jell-O Pudding Cups. Although Jell-O makes at least thirty flavors of pudding, the fat free kind only comes in chocolate and vanilla. I’m a fan of the chocolate myself. Vanilla sort of tastes like how melting plastic smells. Fun fact: Jell-O now offers a flan mix.


More thoughts on cheese:

As a student at a small women’s college, I’ve found that cheese fills the “opposite-sex void” for many people, myself included. What I hadn’t realized is that certain dairy proteins, when digested, act as opiates. Similar effects have been found in chocolate. Maybe I need to kick the cheese habit and just move on to heroin.