Aspiring Seamen Take Note

I know I should be blogging. I realize this. However, my personal life has taken a turn for the worse and right now it’s really difficult for me to break away from all of those lovely Girl Scout cookies and MTV reality shows.

On with better news.

As many of you know, I work at the wonderful Campus Center here in college land. My days are filled with setting up rooms for events, working the information desk like I own it and directing the public to our many on-site restrooms. Let’s pause here for a moment to recognize that I have given instructions on how, exactly, to find a bathroom within the Campus Center to almost the entire population of Massachusetts. Locating the facilities is not too difficult a task, people.

Anyway, there were two main events dealing with the Campus Center this weekend and I, being the lucky woman that I am, was working on Saturday from 10pm-2am. These events were nearly exact opposites of each other, one being a performance by the Naval Academy Glee Club and the other an annual Drag Ball. However, despite their differences, both sides were getting mighty rowdy by early Saturday morning.

Here is my grand advice for all adults, young or old, naval or be-dragged:

1) Do not throw up in the sink of a public bathroom and expect me to clean it up. I do not get paid enough to experience the full effect of your intestinal workings. Also, chew your food well. I dislike being able to identify the “red beans and rice” described on the cafeteria menu earlier in the evening. Bottom line: unless I am your mother I should not have to clean up your vomit. Period.

2) If you are going to run around my house or anywhere on campus at three o’clock in the morning right after I’ve ended my very late night shift, please don’t scream. Don’t scream about your broken shoe, your navy career or how very intoxicated you are unless, that is, you want me to come and snatch you bald-headed.

3) Do not tap your utensils against the salad bar the entire time we are waiting in line for dinner. I am hungry and in need of protein, while you just look more and more in need of a smack down.

4) Unless you are storming up the stairs to have sex with me, there is no need to speak ever so loudly into your cell phone, yell at your partners in crime, shriek, hop, or gallop at any time while running by my door. Just don’t.


Thank you,

The Management