Everyone is getting married. And having babies. We’re at that age. You’re registered at Crate and Barrel. Sur La Table. Williams-Sonoma. I’ll buy you three champagne flutes or a set of cereal bowls or that marble kitchen stand you asked for. I love you.

For those of you not participating in this endless cycle of hitting “like” on people’s life choices, I need to inform you that Williams-Sonoma now has an Agrarian section. Elaborate coops. Stoneware chicken waterers. Glazed terracotta egg trays. Reclaimed artisan chalkboards to record the laying patterns of your new feathered friends. 

Congratulations on the matrimony. I’ll be out back, putting all of my eggs in this Amish basket. It’s made of river cane and sea grass, you know.