One More Salute to Vanity

Yipster, a must-read new favorite

And yes, I realize that I’ve left you all out in the cold lately, much like those New Yorkers on my bedside table. Life in general and my colon specifically has thrown all sorts of complications my way this past month. I’ll be back soon. Hopefully with reading glasses and a recycling bin.

Menus for Feelings

Oppressive Ennui in the Frozen Foods Aisle

Jalapeno poppers, Smucker’s Uncrustables

Abandoned Passive-Aggressive GChats

Wilted lettuce. Salted luncheon meats.

No Friends at the Potluck

Spanakopita with stray hair. Rice pudding to finish.

Secret Shame

Angel food cake slathered in mayonnaise.

During a break in work I browse endless poster sites, as if I don’t have enough screenshots in my “inspiration” folder labeled ohyesplease and dreamlifeyumyums. I click, click, click, landing on a print that looks strangely familiar. I’d forgotten that I bought it for a boy about three years ago before everything turned out wrong.

It lives in a tube in the back of my closet, along with some lithographs from college and cards I can’t seem to toss.

Just when I think the Internet is endless, I loop back around again. Is it time to stop and ask for directions?

Buy your own here.

Last night, in a peak moment of desperation while shuffling the aisles of Fred Meyer in search of honey with which to soothe my lost voice, I purchased a Snuggie. Leopard print. Free booklight. I am not proud, merely comfortably resigned to my fate of eventually wearing pajama pants to the airport and eating elaborate fast food meals on public transportation.