One More Salute to Vanity

Finally catching up to me.

Billie Jean covered by Aloe Blacc & The Grand Scheme.

Excuse me, I need a minute to recover. Can these guys be my house band?

(via capucha)

Last month I ordered a piece of pleasantly priced art for my office from 20x200. Once again, the Internet did not steer me wrong.

For those of you who are less interested in the Hostess Cake truck and are instead drawn to the inquisitive kitten, I picked her up in Portland at a vintage shop. Portland never steers me wrong.

Memory Bank

At the age of seven, I had a chance run-in with Seattle’s first female newscaster and the first permanent female evening news anchor in the country, Jean Enersen. We met at Baskin-Robbins. I had just won an ongoing battle with my mother to buy me a clown cone, a monstrosity that looks something like this: 

Clown cones were consistently stale and tasted like the freezer case, yet I have fond memories of devouring the frozen frosting niblets and leaving the rest. My mother, neurotic and suspicious of freezer cases in general, suspected they were old and more often than not our conversation on the way to Baskin-Robbins would begin with her alerting me that there would be no clown cones.

But that particular day I was victorious, savoring my frozen niblets in the parking lot. That’s when I saw her. Jean Enersen. I had never seen someone from television in person before and it felt both odd and exciting to see her in public, carrying an ice cream cake. Not knowing what else to do and covered in frosting, I waved. She waved back, retrieving her sunglasses from her purse before driving off.

A year later, I met Michael J. Fox after eating striped ravioli at his restaurant on Martha’s Vineyard. The taste of squid ink still lingers in my mouth.

If I didn’t know better, I’d say this bus was getting fresh with me.

Memory Bank

One of the bad boys in my sophomore Spanish class showed me that if you shake an unopened package of Airheads vigorously back and forth it will eventually be reduced to a nugget of viciously-flavored taffy. As an adult, I recently found out this also works with Lara Bars. Disappointingly, neither Airheads nor Lara Bars carry the lively puns of their chewy packaged peer: Laffy Taffy.

“What’s an owl’s favorite subject? - Owlgebra.”

Happy birthday, mama. 59 looks good on you. So does that tiny baby in the background of this photo that you are attempting to nosh on.

Still got it!

Yipster, a must-read new favorite

And yes, I realize that I’ve left you all out in the cold lately, much like those New Yorkers on my bedside table. Life in general and my colon specifically has thrown all sorts of complications my way this past month. I’ll be back soon. Hopefully with reading glasses and a recycling bin.