One More Salute to Vanity

20 hours ago

Good Slacks and a Sensible Blouse

Me: what a difference an hour shorter of sleep makes! I sound like my mother.
Whitney: I now get anxious about how much sleep I get, like, if I go to bed late I think of how PAINFUL it will be.
Me: it's a sickness.
Whitney: it's called GROWING UP! Augh, and it sucks.
Me: but parts of it are good! We have access to more things! We've done most of the hard stuff! That's what she said!
Whitney: you should come over and watch stories with me.
Me: I promise not to bring pudding this time.

Comments

1 day ago

During a break in work I browse endless poster sites, as if I don’t have enough screenshots in my “inspiration” folder labeled ohyesplease and dreamlifeyumyums. I click, click, click, landing on a print that looks strangely familiar. I’d forgotten that I bought it for a boy about three years ago before everything turned out wrong.

It lives in a tube in the back of my closet, along with some lithographs from college and cards I can’t seem to toss.

Just when I think the Internet is endless, I loop back around again. Is it time to stop and ask for directions?

Buy your own here.

Comments

5 days ago

Art Imitates Life, Avocado

Me: should I just pick something up for dinner?
Nick: we have no peppers or onions
Me: I’ll just pick something up
Nick: we have avocado

Occasionally, if you blog something it eventually comes true.

Comments

1 week ago

Little one.

Comments

1 week ago

Were the Ninja Turtles a marketing tool for the pizza industry? »Hipster Runoff

Comments

Reason Number 842: He builds houses with his wallet and leaves them around the apartment. In other news, we’ve recently started using the piano bench as a coffee table & the coffee table as a sideboard. Wild and crazy guys!

Comments

1 week ago

Appropriate times to present me with a $300 bespoke axe:

To arm me for the later half of my 20’s.
Upon the completion of my remote wilderness cabin.
Our first anniversary, after you use it to harvest wood & render paper.
Thursday, 10:59am.

Comments

2 weeks ago

On Not Going To There

And then I realized that what I was imagining going back to was our apartment a year ago, with a Christmas tree in the corner decorated with the ornaments I bought at Pearl River Mart and the ones from William’s grandmother. I remembered how happy I’d been to look in the window and see those lights every time I came home. I could almost smell the old fuggy smell of our apartment, pot and incense and pine needles and cooking.

I wanted to go there so badly. I wanted to run there. But you can’t go back to a place that no longer exists.

Revisiting the archives of Heartbreak Soup. I haven’t read a blog so text heavy in years. The nostalgia is slaying me.

Comments

The next time I’m on the verge of one of my patented Ultimate Rainman Freakout moments just lead me here, hand me a warm glass of milk and insist that it will all be okay.