One More Salute to Vanity

better than you since 2002
3 days ago
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4 days ago
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Further proof that I am, in fact, my own Cathy cartoon, AmazonFresh is now attempting to lure me back with free fudge.

Further proof that I am, in fact, my own Cathy cartoon, AmazonFresh is now attempting to lure me back with free fudge.

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5 days ago
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Good Slacks and a Sensible Blouse
  • Me: what a difference an hour shorter of sleep makes! I sound like my mother.
  • Whitney: I now get anxious about how much sleep I get, like, if I go to bed late I think of how PAINFUL it will be.
  • Me: it's a sickness.
  • Whitney: it's called GROWING UP! Augh, and it sucks.
  • Me: but parts of it are good! We have access to more things! We've done most of the hard stuff! That's what she said!
  • Whitney: you should come over and watch stories with me.
  • Me: I promise not to bring pudding this time.
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6 days ago
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During a break in work I browse endless poster sites, as if I don’t have enough screenshots in my “inspiration” folder labeled ohyesplease and dreamlifeyumyums. I click, click, click, landing on a print that looks strangely familiar. I’d forgotten that I bought it for a boy about three years ago before everything turned out wrong.
It lives in a tube in the back of my closet, along with some lithographs from college and cards I can’t seem to toss.
Just when I think the Internet is endless, I loop back around again. Is it time to stop and ask for directions?
Buy your own here.

During a break in work I browse endless poster sites, as if I don’t have enough screenshots in my “inspiration” folder labeled ohyesplease and dreamlifeyumyums. I click, click, click, landing on a print that looks strangely familiar. I’d forgotten that I bought it for a boy about three years ago before everything turned out wrong.

It lives in a tube in the back of my closet, along with some lithographs from college and cards I can’t seem to toss.

Just when I think the Internet is endless, I loop back around again. Is it time to stop and ask for directions?

Buy your own here.

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1 week ago
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Art Imitates Life, Avocado

Me: should I just pick something up for dinner?
Nick: we have no peppers or onions
Me: I’ll just pick something up
Nick: we have avocado

Occasionally, if you blog something it eventually comes true.

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1 week ago
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Little one.

Little one.

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2 weeks ago
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Were the Ninja Turtles a marketing tool for the pizza industry? »Hipster Runoff
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Reason Number 842: He builds houses with his wallet and leaves them around the apartment. In other news, we’ve recently started using the piano bench as a coffee table & the coffee table as a sideboard. Wild and crazy guys!

Reason Number 842: He builds houses with his wallet and leaves them around the apartment. In other news, we’ve recently started using the piano bench as a coffee table & the coffee table as a sideboard. Wild and crazy guys!

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2 weeks ago
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Appropriate times to present me with a $300 bespoke axe:

To arm me for the later half of my 20’s. 
Upon the completion of my remote wilderness cabin.
Our first anniversary, after you use it to harvest wood & render paper. 
Thursday, 10:59am.

Appropriate times to present me with a $300 bespoke axe:

  1. To arm me for the later half of my 20’s.
  2. Upon the completion of my remote wilderness cabin.
  3. Our first anniversary, after you use it to harvest wood & render paper.
  4. Thursday, 10:59am.
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2 weeks ago
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On Not Going To There

And then I realized that what I was imagining going back to was our apartment a year ago, with a Christmas tree in the corner decorated with the ornaments I bought at Pearl River Mart and the ones from William’s grandmother. I remembered how happy I’d been to look in the window and see those lights every time I came home. I could almost smell the old fuggy smell of our apartment, pot and incense and pine needles and cooking.

I wanted to go there so badly. I wanted to run there. But you can’t go back to a place that no longer exists.

Revisiting the archives of Heartbreak Soup. I haven’t read a blog so text heavy in years. The nostalgia is slaying me.

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